AIRPORT MADNESS OR "PEOPLE, YOU DON'T WANT TO MEET WHILE TRAVELING"

Since there are only two weeks left for me till I have to pack my bags again, reporting for my next adventure, I'm bringing all those various types of fellow travelers, you will definitely meet as some point, to my mind and some of them really make me wanna curse under my breath.

Airports usually always tend to be a little more bustling place


People are exited or in a rush, it's crowded and the bigger the airport, the more confusing it can get, depending on how often you've been around here. But there are always a few groups of people, which will slow you down or annoy the hell out of you.

Hello? In case you haven't noticed the other dozens of people around you, you are not alone on this airport and no, you are not the only one trying to catch a flight.


The fun usually already starts at the check-in counter. I prefer using the check-in computers for printing my boarding card and checking in my luggage. Its mostly easy and fast. You just have to scan your passport, type in your address, destination and reservation number, decide how many suitcases you want to drop off and ta-dah, you're done. Afterwards, you just have to queue up at the baggage drop-off line, which is usually the less crowded one and then you're done but that is already the first time, you will collide with people, belonging to the group called 'humans, who can't read properly'.

Usually, there are several check-in counters. Said one for the baggage drop-off only and the other ones, where you can check-in with a member of the airport staff instead of doing it on your own at a computer. For the baggage drop-off line, you will need your boarding card which is always well-signposted before lining up and yet, there is always this one family, queuing up, acting completely astonished that they've ended up in the wrong line and have to do it all over again. This always ends in a discussion, why the poor airport employee can't just simply print their boarding card and in order to avoid any more turmoil, they end up doing it, forcing the other – correctly queued – travelers to wait longer than they commonly had to. So, if you belong to this 'humans, who can't read properly' – group, open your eyes and start reading, you will spare all of us and yourself some time and unnecessary stress.


After you dropped off your baggage, you will enter the security area, passing through the well-known security check. This is, when you will meet the second group, called 'I'm taking a plane for the first time, I've never heard of safety regulations'.

Okay, everyone, I get it. Some people are indeed simply going by plane for the first time and it is exiting but I bet every single one of you has heard of safety regulations and security checks at some point of his life.

However, it still seems to be surprising that you're not allowed to bring your 2L bottle of water into the security area. Once, at Heathrow airport in London, a saw a guy who tried to smuggle his golf clubs past the security and got unbelievably mad when they took them from him.

Golf clubs.

Expensive golf clubs.

Yes, I truly can't understand how he wasn't allowed to bring them with him.

So, the thing is, there are these safety regulations and some of them are quite ridiculous such as the one with the liquids. You're allowed to bring a total of one liter, divided on ten 100ml bottles. I mean, come on, it's not as if you couldn't commingle them afterwards but hey, those are the rules. Either you follow them or you just don't take any liquids with you but don't try to smuggle things past the security check and make everybody else wait longer because this 2L bottle of water means EVERYTHING to you.

Humans, belonging to the group 'I'm taking a plane for the first time, I've never heard of safety regulations' also tend to react rather surprised when they learn that they have to take off their shoes, belts, jackets, scarfs, take out their laptops and show their boarding card once again. And so the line becomes longer and longer while good old aunt Mary has to take off her laced boots, her belt, her winter parka, her thick cardigan and her outsized scarf.

Don't get me wrong, wear whatever the hell you like and in whatever you fell comfortable for flying but if you're muffled up, also carrying liquids and a laptop with you, take it out before it's your turn to hand it over for x-ray.

Hey, I'm quasi already naked, so I just have to slip out of my shoes once it's my turn to walk through the scanner and when I'm done, I'm moving out of the way, so my fellow travelers and me are not starting to pile-up.

What are we getting out of it, 'I'm taking a plane for the first time, I've never heard of safety regulations' ? It's not a disgrace to be prepared. A slight background check before leaving for the airport might make it easier for you and us.


After surviving all of this, it's only a matter of time till your boarding starts and this is, when you will meet the probably worst group of fellow travelers. The 'out of the way, I'm a businessman/-woman'.

Frequent fliers. One ought to think they know by now how this works.

They always have to be the first one to get on and off the plane. There are always several groups, who will be boarded one after another, so all of us can get aboard quickly and depart to our next destination. People with seats in the back of the plane usually come first, seats in the center followed afterwards, et cetera, et cetera. Concept behind all of this is that nobody is blocking the narrow aisle while people are still boarding and yet, there are always people who have to get aboard before others.

So you are going to enter the airplane, bumping into someone – mostly one of said businessmen or -women – blocking the gangway while trying to cram his or her hand luggage into the overhead bin. Thank you Sir or Madame, we will absolutely be able to leave faster with you being on board first.

The 'out of the way, I'm a businessman/-woman' group is also recognizable by still talking on their phones until a stewardess or a steward askes them for the tenth time to finally turn off their phone for take-off and as the ones, which will jump up right after touchdown. Evil me always hopes for a slight bump by the airplane after landing, so they will just hit their busy heads.

Once you're airborne, it is time to come across our final group. The 'There is nobody else but me on this airplane'.

They emerge as the knees and feet kicking your back, the elbows on your side of the seat, the parents that won't soothe their screaming kids and the ones, getting the toilets as dirty as if nobody else would use them.

Yes, you probably will never get completely rid of those groups but I still have a gleam of hope that one day, maybe in the far future, everyone will realize that we are the ones, responsible for making traveling more comfortable, quicker and easier for all of us. And if you just found yourself in one of those mentioned groups, there is always time to change for the better.

Anyway, enough of the complaints. I'm looking forward to my 19 hours and 35 minutes flight time in total, coming up in two weeks, nevertheless and I hope you will still enjoy your travels as well, although these groups are existing.

Until then, happy traveling.

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